I'd rather be damned with you
by griffin-queen-of-silver-skies
Summary: Sometimes things are exactly what you make of them. And sometimes, all you ever wanted was right under your nose the entire time...


A/N: Hey all. Griffin-queen here. I just recently finished the entirety of Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji), and found myself purchasing both seasons on DVD. I knew I'd eventually end up here, as I fell in love with the series VERY quickly. I felt kind of weird about publishing this, but I hope you all enjoy it regardless.

NOTE: I do have a second chapter planned out for this. Based on the feedback I get I will decide whether or not to finish and publish it soon.

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The vibrant display of rose petals had faded, and Ciel was plunged into an indescribable darkness. He grabbed onto Sebastian's collar, who tightened his grip on the small boy as a result.

" I-I-it's so c-cold…" Muttered Ciel. He felt Sebastian's shivering, but he could not see any signs of it bothering the older demon. Ciel had never felt anything like this before. There was nothing… utter nothingness all around him. He knew that his eyes were open, but he was met with a black void. For a moment, he even wondered if he had a body left at all. The only thing to remind him that he did still have a body were the warm arms that were gripping it tight, and the strong chest that he was currently curled against.

" You will be alright. We are merely passing through the barrier between realms. The chill will fade s-soon…" Sebastian cleared his throat, attempting to hide his chilled stammer. Demonic eyes flashed in the darkness, piercing a hole right through Ciel in the process. " I will not let you go." Strangely enough, those words had never meant more to Ciel. The eyes blinked, then looked off into the darkness again. " It is quite a remarkable experience though, isn't it? Very few individuals ever get to experience the passing as you are."

" Wh-what do you mean?"

" It is not every day a human is turned into a demon… If you were making this journey with a mortal soul, it would be torn apart as we speak. Every sin, every virtue, everything you've ever done would be laid out in front of you. This is where the final judgment begins and ends."

" Oh… s-so this is purgatory?"

" If you wish to call it such, then yes, precisely. Human souls are weighed here in this eternal darkness, and from here your soul is sent to its eternal resting place, be it heaven or hell. However, angels and demons are able to make the passing freely. Such is our birthright. Or, in your case, your newly bestowed pri-ivilege…damn it's cold tonight."

" How l-long will we b-be here?"

" The thickness of the barrier depends on how many souls are contained within it… we could be here a while. Only a reaper could tell us how many souls are lined up at any given time… and I'm not about to call for one, as I know exactly who would show up…"

" W-well…then perhaps we should t-talk about some things."

" Oh? What exactly is there to talk about…" Sebastian's voice was flat… but Ciel continued.

" I a-am truly sorry for the way I treated you… Honestly I had no reason to treat you s-so badly. I suppose it was a little bit of me wanting to keep you at arm's d-distance, but it was mostly me being a petulant brat about th-things. I don't know how much it means now, probably nothing… But there's no better place to say it than here."

" How noble of you, young master." He heard a chuckle. " I never harbored any ill will toward you for that. In fact, I understood perfectly why you did so."

" E-even when I threw the pie in your face?"

" Ah yes, even then I was admittedly slacking in my performance. What kind of butler would I be if my master was appalled at mealtime?" Ciel chuckled, but his short lived mirth faded into the darkness…

" And I'm s-sorry you didn't get to eat my soul… truly." He felt every muscle on Sebastian's body tense up… and he could see raw anger contorting and narrowing Sebastian's eyes. It made him wonder what kind of unholy rage was bubbling just underneath the demon's skin. " I wished for no one else but you to have it, as it was rightfully yours as payment… I'm sorry you never got your reward for fulfilling our contract."

" And what of you tricking me into being your servant for eternity? Surely you realize how perfectly underhanded that was?" Sebastian spoke through what sounded like poorly composed, gritted teeth…

" I admit, it was me being selfish git again… but what else was I supposed to do? I had very little control over that situation… and I was less in control of my own self. Even my own memories weren't mine alone. I was struggling to remain myself, literally fighting for my own body and mind… and I may regret this later, but the strain on my mind felt twice as great as having to watch my own parents burn. Yet somehow the only thing I could hang onto, the only thing I cared about was the feeling that I might have to spend an eternity having lost whatever shred of companionship you and I had… and that terrified me more than anything." He heard Sebastian falter… then afterward a small sigh escaped him.

" Please know that my not being able to devour your soul was in no way your fault. If I seem bitter, please do not think any of it is directed at you. I know that you wanted to give me what was rightfully mine." There was a long, dark pause between the two. " Somehow though, I'm glad you're still here."

" Wha…? Glad? How on Earth can you be glad after a-all this?"

" It's quite simple. Humans like you once were don't come around every day. I'm sure you heard one of us talking about how long demons live, and how terribly boring it gets. Humans like you are the spice that our lives so desperately need. And, well, you're still very much you. Just because you have a demon's blood now makes little difference. Ciel Phantomhive still remains."

" Well then… since we're on the topic… who were you before you were Sebastian Michaelis?"

" I never really carried a name before. You were the first to give me such a thing. With it came a sense of purpose that I had never before experienced. I daresay some small part of me will miss the Phantomhive manor."

" Me too I suppose. I imagine where we're going next is far less comfortable…"

" Well, young lord, you may find yourself oddly surprised. Sometimes things are exactly what you make of them. And sometimes things that you hear in the world above are simply a result of a fear of the unknown." Sebastian paused, sensing Ciel's confusion even though he could not see the boy. " You can see for yourself when we get there… but for now, let us rest. While it is true that demons enjoy sleep as a mere luxury, it is certainly a valid way to pass the time." Ciel pressed his head into the crook of the demon's neck, finding that it was quite a warm and comfortable spot to rest…He jumped, surprised, and Sebastian jumped in response… Ciel had only ever done that with two people in his entire existence…his late mother and father. Ciel was silent, until Sebastian's voice ripped him from his thoughts…

" Something wrong?" After a moment, Ciel rested his head again.

" It's nothing… r-really."

" As you wish, Master." Ciel was fading fast, finding that no light whatsoever made it very hard to remain focused and conscious. But just before he fell asleep, he could swear that he felt Sebastian's head rest against his own…


End file.
